This will be much more satisfying if you’ve just had a wisdom tooth (or any tooth, I suppose) pulled and aren’t supposed to eat solid foods until the wound heals.  I suppose it’s more solid than I’m supposed to eat, but a guy needs to eat, eh?  Anyway—I’m sure it’s tasty for everyone, though.

It’d be fun to be famous enough that I could get suckers to buy anything I make, such as a cookbook like this.  I mean, who really wants casual recipes like this—the random crap I throw together along with inane commentary?  I’d have to be Oprah to sell something like this.  But you’re reading it, apparently.

Anyway: squeeze a lemon into a bowl that you can use as the top of a double-boiler.  Start boiling the water for the bottom of that.

Add water and peanut butter.  Melt the peanut butter with the lemon and water.

Add these: diced onions, garlic, and ginger; cumin, cayenne, habanero sauce, fire oil, apple cider vinegar, red wine vinegar, salt, pepper, crushed red pepper, yellow mustard, cardamom, cinnamon, tarragon, thyme, basil, oregano, turmeric, coriander, applesauce; and then stir it all together.  Add a lot: you want it to taste good, right?  I never measure anything, so define ‘a lot’ for yourself.  My little mortar was about 1/3 full with all the spices.

I thought about adding some wine, but only had dry red wine, and this seems more like a white wine kind of thing…if I’d had some apple wine, I’d definitely throw that in.

Chop up some venison chops, throw them in this sauce, and marinate for as long as you can stand to.  I only did it an hour, because I don’t plan ahead.

In a stock pot or whatever you want to cook it in (I would’ve used my dutch oven, but that thing is weird…I think the oil in it has gone rancid), heat up some coconut oil (or, if you’re allergic to nuts, some inferior oil).

Throw in some chopped onions, garlic, and ginger.  I added some chopped tomatoes, too, but am kind of regretting it…there’s so much stuff in here, does it really need tomatoes?  We’ll see, though—maybe that will add the right flavor.  If you add tomatoes, let them boil down a bit; either way, let the onions, garlic, and ginger get a little tender.  Might as well add some more cumin, cayenne, fire oil, and habanero sauce, too.  I never end up putting enough spices in, and now’s a good chance to try to fix that.

Add the meat mix/sauce.  Cook it until you think you don’t need to anymore (pretty good instructions, eh?).  Really, though, how can you tell?, you ask?  I’m asking myself the same question.  I’d say cook it until it’s brown, but it’s covered with a brown peanut butter sauce.  So, I don’t know.

Think for a while about whether or not you should’ve added soy sauce.  Decide not to, and then maybe consider adding it the next time you make this, unless you think it tastes perfect without it.

It sure smells good, doesn’t it?

I’ve been cooking everything on the lowest setting, by the way.  Don’t want to burn anything.

If you don’t care that broth comes packaged in containers that you can’t really recycle (why can’t it come in glass jars?), or if you’re awesome and have some homemade broth, add some of that.  If you’re a dork like me, though, just add water, lentils, and rice, and simmer until that stuff cooks.

While you’re waiting, why not chop up some cabbage for fermenting into sauerkraut?  Because it’s surprisingly hard work/time-consuming?  Point taken.

When it seems like that stuff is about done, add your favorite veggies (or whatever veggies you have around) and some fruit if you think that sounds like a good idea.  I added broccoli, carrots, a chopped apple, bok choy, and potatoes.  That’s all I really have right now—weird.  I’d add green beans, pea pods, peppers, asparagus, cauliflower, celery, spinach, peanuts, and maybe butternut or acorn squash if I had them (though with the squash I’d put it in earlier…it takes a while to get tender, from what I remember).  If I were A.K., I’d probably add pineapple, too.

Let all that stuff cook, though not too long—you don’t want that stuff getting mushy.

Very tasty!  Let it cool, and then eat it, if your mouth with its missing wisdom tooth will let you…I’m struggling with the big veggies…